Biblical marriage

If you would resume the entire bible to one word that would be: LOVE

The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love.1 John 4:8

And above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness.Colossians 3:14

and the last 8 commandments are a consequence of the first 2 ones:

Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like to it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:37-39

Why love God ?

We love him, because he first loved us1 John 4:19

How should we love ?

If you read careful the discussion between Jesus and Peter, in the Greek version, you’ll notice something interesting:

When they had finished eating, Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love Me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he answered, “You know I love You“. Jesus replied, “Feed My lambs”.

οτε ούν μριστησαν, λέγει (said) τω Σίμωνι Πέτρω ο ιησους Σιμων ιωνα: αγαπας με πλειον (greater/better) τούτων (these) ? λεγει αυτω: ναί Κυριε συ οιδας οτι φιλω σε. λεγει αυτω: βοσκε τα αρνία μου. John 21:15

In Greek language there are 3 types of love:

Αγαπη _(agapi) = calvary, sacrificial love

σ’αγαπώ = I love u
Αγαπάω = to love

φιλέω _(fileo) = friendly love

φιλω = I appreciate you
Φιλία = friendship

Eρως _(eros) = romantic love

έράω = I like you

So, Jesus is asking Peter if he loves him up to a sacrificial degree, while Peter responds him with a friendly, appreciative version of “I love you”.

and walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant sacrificial offering to God.Ephesians 5:2

Let’s check the symbolism (meaning) of hebrew word for love:

אהבה _(ahava) = love

אהב _(ahav) = to love = “God guards his house”

Which is the house that God protects ?

But Christ was faithful as a son over his own house; whose house are we, if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end.Hebrews 3:6

Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?
If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.

How love manifests ?

• Patience, kindness, no envyness
• No boast, no proudness, not self-seeking
• Not rude, not easily provoked
• No evil thinking, no pleasure in evil
• Rejoices in the truth
• Doesn’t fear
• It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things

bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should youColossians 3:13

Love is eternal as it comes from an infinite God:

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for languages, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.1 Corintios 13: 4-8

The friendship

At the base of marriage is the friendship without which the relationship cannot go further, to the intimate level.

And this commandment have we from him, That he who love God love his brother also1 John 4:21

As we saw, Christ ask us for a full dedication in any kind of relationship:

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.John 15:13

After God created man in his own image: male and female, he gave them a responsibility on earth:

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that move upon the earth.Genesis 1:28

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.Hebrews 13:4

Let’s see an interesting gematria for father, mother & child words:

אָב _(av) = πατέρας _(pateras) = Father

אבא _(aba) = Αββα _(aba) = daddy (aramaic origin)

אֵם _(em) = אִמָא _(imah) = μητέρα _(mitera) = Mother

יֶלֶד _(ieled) = παιδί _(pedi) = Child

So father(3) + mother(41) = child(44)

Husband role

Leadership

But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.1 Corinthians 11:3

As the head of the family, the husband has to guide it wisely:

Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord

Patience

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.Colossians 3:19

Unconditional Love & Sacrifice

I often notice how atheists mention the verses about the wife submitting to her husband but they never heard the ones about the husband status:

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself.
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church….
To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.Ephesians 5:28,29, 33

Wife role

Why woman was created ?

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”.
The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.Genesis 2:18,20

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.Proverbs 18:22

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.Proverbs 12:4

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewelsProverbs 31:10

The man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all livingGenesis 3:20

How was woman created ?

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Genesis 2:21-23

That explains why men and woman wants each other physically:

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.Genesis 2:24

The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife have not power/authority of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband have not power/authority of his own body, but the wife.1 Corinthians 7:4

Wife attitude

Modest

Your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses,
but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.1 Peter 3:3

Wise

House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORDProverbs 19:14

Respectful

Unfortunately many people believes that bible is an old, updated and women discriminating book. This is because they don’t really read it or they just take out of context some verses in order to support their ideas.

One of the most misinterpreted verse about married women is this:

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, seeing your pure behavior in fear1 Peter 3:1,2

This means that just by being respectful and focused on good deeds, a wife can help her wrongdoer husband to repent. Obviously there are some exceptions, but most of the time this approach will win.

A proud feminist might say that she doesn’t have to submit to a men, but aren’t you submitting all your life to your parents, grandparents, bosses, authorities, etc, because you trust, respect or appreciate them ?

Let’s see what kind of submission God really wants from us:

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

Ephesians 5:21-25

This verse might seem completely inappropriate in a confused society about gender orientation and responsibilities:

To be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviledTitus 2:5

And to clarify the gender inequality and slavery issues (which still happens today in most of the muslim countries):

There is neither jew nor greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

Paul suggests that celibacy would be the best option but if this would cause you to sin then better to marry:

It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they cannot have self-control, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Corinthians 7:1,8,9,28

But if you marry, you have not sinned; So then he that gives her in marriage does well; but he that gives her not in marriage does better.1 Corinthians 7:28, 38

Chastity can help people to grow spiritually, as they would have more time for God, but this is not possible for anyone:

I want you to be free from concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, that is, about how he can please the Lord. But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife and his interests are divided.1 Corinthians 7:32,33

For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.Matthew 19:12

I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.1 Corinthians 7:7

Better single than in a toxic relationship, no ?

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry womanProverbs 21:19

This verse is quite tough for a society “normalized” with divorces:

But I say to you, any man who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adulteryMatthew 5:32

Marriage is not of human origin, it was instituted by God and taught by Jesus as a life long agreement:

Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separateMark 10:9

A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants, only in the Lord.1 Corinthians 7:39

Unfortunately, there’re situations when divorce has to be chosen:

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace.1 Corinthians 7:15

The bible is very clear that the homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of God unless they repent:

You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abominationLeviticus 18:22

Some people like to think that humanity “evolved” over time and originated from a bing-bang… Yea, they got “so advanced” that they can’t even figure out their gender orientation.

and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.Romans 1:27

Actually, one of the sign for the end of this world will be the high increase of sexual immoralities:

And as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of ManLuke 17:26